Just Statistics
by KevyGrayce
Summary: After years and years of losing people in your life who matter the most, you find different ways to cope. One of these ways for Peter is statistics.


One and all! Welcome to our regularly scheduled one shot! This week we get something angsty. FINALLY, I know, but we all need a fluff break every now and then :) But now we're diving straight back into pain with our irondad comforting his spideyson! Emotions abound!

Request from drawing_my_life_today on IG: Much angst.

Have fun and stay safe❤ 💛💚💙💜

* * *

After years and years of losing people in your life who matter the most, you find different ways to cope. One of these ways for Peter is statistics. Though, he's not sure he would say the coping mechanism makes him feel better, per se. It just…puts things into perspective. He tries not to think about it, but it proves how his Parker Luck goes against all odds to take away the people he loves. Such low chances…and they all still happened.

"Hey, Pete, you with me?" Tony's sudden words manage to pull Peter from his thoughts and back into the present, but doesn't stop his downward spiral. He shrugs his shoulders instead of answering. Tony raises an eyebrow at the kid's lack of chatter, takes off his safety goggles, and walks over to him. "What's up?" he asks cautiously as he sits on the stool across from the kid. Peter's eyes don't move from the workbench surface he's staring at. He's too tired to move them.

"One in 29.4 million." Tony narrows his eyes in confusion, unsure how to interpret the random information.

"What?" he questions for clarification. Peter doesn't react at first, but then sighs. No one can ever understand. _ Only freaks lose that many people. I must've deserved it. _

"They were one in 29.4 million," he repeats as if it'll somehow make more sense than the first time. Tony, however, is starting to get concerned. All he wanted to do was help Peter feel better after a supposedly bad day at school by tinkering in the workshop.

"I don't know what you're getti-"

"That's only two hundred and thirty-eight people out of seven billion, Mr. Stark," Peter interrupts in a desperate attempt to explain. Tony's eyes frantically search his face for something to give away what's going on. He doesn't find anything.

"I-" He's interrupted again, but Peter doesn't sound angry. More so exhausted than anything else.

"The chances of crashing at all are one in eleven million." Peter pauses to take a breath. "That's six hundred and thirty-seven people out of seven billion," he whispers with so much reserve that it makes Tony's heart ache. Tony wants to _ fix _ it but he doesn't know where to start.

"You gotta let-"

"Only six percent of robberies happen in convenience stores." That's something Tony can latch on to. He vaguely remembers May mentioning an uncle and a robbery. Finally realizing that Peter needs to get the words out, Tony doesn't try to talk again and patiently waits, his gaze never wavering. Peter still doesn't meet his eyes, but chuckles humorlessly. "I couldn't even find a statistic for the odds of being killed during a robbery. I searched for _ hours _ and they don't even have one." For the first time since entering the Tower, his eyes start to well up with tears as the apathy fades. His hands tightly grip his jeans, hoping he can pull himself together.

All the while Tony starts to put it all together. Peter's parents died in a plane crash and his uncle was killed in a convenience store robbery…and Peter memorized the probability statistics. The amount of pure willpower and pain that must have taken…

"Pete, kid," he starts gently, "it's okay to be upset. You don't have to try and hide it." Peter shakes his head, the movement causing his unshed tears to fall down his flushed cheeks.

"You don't _ understand," _ he counters. An unruly sob manages to slip out against his will while he wipes his cheeks with his sleeve. Tony clenches his teeth, frustrated with his lack of emotional support skills. He blames Howard.

"Help me understand." Peter finally looks up at Tony's pleading words and, his face crumpling with bottled up grief, breaks down. His chest constricts with sobs that don't even make a sound, but those are the ones that always hurt the most. The kinds that don't let him breathe and make his shoulders shake. Tony stands without any further prompting and rushes to Peter's side to make sure the kid doesn't topple over. He pulls Peter into his chest to provide both stability and comfort, rubbing his back in hopes that it'll help him breathe a bit easier.

And did Peter need that hug.

Peter's shaking hands let go of his jeans and grip Tony's t-shirt instead in a drastic effort to pull himself closer. His entire being is a blackhole, void of comfort. All he needs is the physical reassurance that he's been craving for the last week. It always hurts this time of year. Finally, he's able to breathe, but his silent sobs turn into loud, guttural cries that bring tears to Tony's own eyes. The sheer amount of agony displayed through Peter's cries shreds Tony to pieces. He holds the back of Peter's head and tucks it safely under his chin as he carefully runs his fingers through the curls.

"They're, they're just _ statistics. _ That's all they are now," Peter chokes out between hiccuping breaths. Tony closes his eyes, tears slipping out, and focuses on Peter's harsh breathing as well as his voice. He has to calm the kid down, not to mention he doesn't think his heart can handle much more of this. "And I, I can't talk to May about it 'cause she, 'cause she gets upset too and she gets this _ look _ on her face. I don't wanna upset her more than she already is. Like, it was _ her _ husband and, and _ her _ in-laws. I don't even remember my parents half the time and it's the worst feeling, Mr. Stark." Peter's grip tightens and he squeezes his eyes shut. He takes a moment to breathe as he buries his face further under Tony's chin. Tony tightens his hold in response. "I miss them so much and I can't even remember them. I just, it hurts. All they are is, is numbers on some dumb websites that people don't even read." His rushed, muffled explanation only makes him cry harder. It feels all too fresh and hurts just as much as it always has. Tony continues his gentle ministrations through Peter's hair and sighs.

"They aren't just statistics," he softly disagrees. Peter sniffs and tries to hold back his sobs to listen. "They aren't just some random bits and pieces of data. They were people. Human beings. And they loved you, Peter. Every single one of them." Tears race faster down Peter's cheeks. "It's alright to miss them and it's alright to talk about it, don't hold it in like I did. Theme you'll notice is that I'm not the best role model. The only thing I'm not best at, actually." Peter chuckles lightly at Tony's smug tone, causing the man to smile. "Point is, they have you. And as long as they have you and May remembering them, they'll never only be numbers." Tony takes a deep breath. "Just because they're gone, doesn't mean they didn't love you as much as I know they did." The genuine tone of Tony's voice almost throws Peter for a loop. He presses his lips together and pulls away just enough to look up at Tony. As soon as he does, Tony opens his eyes.

"How can you know?" Their brown eyes maintain contact, Peter's searching for something while Tony's simply take in the moment. Tony slowly smiles, wrinkles forming at the corner of his lips and eyes. It's a knowing smile.

"Lucky guess," he answers, but the true meaning is behind his words. Peter doesn't miss it. He returns the smile and rests his head back on Tony's chest as he moves his arms to reciprocate the hug.

"I love you too, Mr. Stark," he mumbles. Tony looks up at the ceiling to keep away the tears and sniffs nonchalantly. Yet, he doesn't relinquish his hold.

"How about we blow this popsicle stand and go eat some junk food instead?" he offers in a mischievous tone to help lighten the mood. Peter considers the offer for a few moments.

"Ice cream?"

"Ice cream."

"And Star Wars?" Tony snorts at how quick Peter is.

"Woah, let's not get ahead of ourselves. You chose last time. Don't think that just 'cause you're a kid, I'm going easy on you. It's my turn," he argues halfheartedly. In all honesty, if flying around the world would make Peter feel better, he'd do it in a heartbeat.

"Oh yeah?" Peter plays along with a slight smile. "So what do you wanna watch?" Tony purses his lips, even though Peter can't see it, and pretends to think.

"…Star Wars." he answers resolutely. When Peter laughs, Tony ruffles his hair to annoy him. "C'mon, up we go. Ice cream's in the penthouse." Peter combs down his messy hair with his fingers as they walk to the elevator side-by-side.

"Thanks, Mr. Stark. For listening. It means a lot," Peter breaks the silence with his head bowed shyly, both of them ascending to the penthouse. Tony slings his arm around the kid's shoulders and gives him a reassuring squeeze.

"Anytime, kid," he returns wholeheartedly. "Anytime."

* * *

Next one shot: Thunder Storms and Blanket Forts! February 21st, we get our favorite Spidey Tot Peter and loving adoptive father Tony! This title still makes me smile :)

Thank you for reading!❤ 💛💚💙💜

If you'd like to keep up to date on upcoming fics and get sneak peeks, feel free to follow one of my accounts!  
Instagram: kevy_fanfics  
Tumblr: kevyfanfics  
Twitter: Kevy_Fanfics


End file.
